Couples Therapy

“Once I find ‘the one,’ I’ll be happy.”

And you were when you found your better half!

Being in love was so exciting… butterflies in your stomach and wanting to spend all your time with each other. It was like a dream come true!

You created a life together: kids, careers, and a home. At last, you had a family… and the future held so much promise!

2061347189So… what happened??

You can’t help but wonder as you lie awake in bed replaying your last fight… that knot churning in your stomach.

You feel the shame tingling all over your body, wondering if you’re an awful person…

“I was too much this time.”

“I wish I hadn’t yelled.”

“Ugh… I regret saying that.”

Or you blame your partner, the anger and resentment seething in your chest like a hot rock…

“I can’t believe we fought for such a stupid thing.”

“They always make a big deal out of nothing.”

“All they care about are THEIR issues.”

“If they’d just LISTENED, we wouldn’t have fought in the first place.”

The intimacy you once shared is long gone.

Sex?? Forget it. The most you get is a peck on the lips before heading out the door.

The long conversations you once had are few and far between. Many conversations end in arguments or complete silence, so why even bother?

It is scary to think about separating. You dread the idea because you can’t imagine life without your partner.

Deep inside, you still care for each other. And once in a while, your conversations end well. And you can still see a glimmer of how your relationship used to be. You feel hopeful…

But then, those unresolvable arguments come back.

Resentment, irritation, loneliness, and sadness are the reality for both of you.

Even if it were possible to repair the relationship, where do you start?

423478507Conflict in long-term relationships is inevitable.

Having a good relationship doesn’t mean you never get mad or disagree. In fact, I believe the source of conflict can also be the source of deep understanding and connection.

The truth about intimate relationships is that they can trigger past wounds that have not been healed. Our partners act like mirrors, showing us needs that were not met early in life or reinforcing beliefs we have about ourselves. We all have these “relational wounds” because our parents were also human and imperfect!

This is especially true for those of us with less-than-perfect childhoods or difficult family dynamics growing up. Inconsistent or challenging relationships early in life, even if subtle, create wounds that can lead to difficulties in our romantic relationships as adults.

Couples therapy can help you heal relational wounds.

Human beings are wired for connection, and that connection with your intimate partner can be a source of joy, security, and support when the relationship is healthy and functioning well.

I help couples create awareness of their relational self, understand the patterns and beliefs impeding their communication, and gain a deeper sense of themselves in their relationship.

My job as your therapist is not to solve your problems. Rather, I’ll help you learn to regulate your emotions, understand yourself and your triggers in the context of your relationship, and create emotional safety so you can communicate about even the most difficult topics.

“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”
–Esther Perel

Let’s do this… together.

When you get to the root of the problem, you’ll heal from the inside out, creating lasting results.

You’re here because you want to save your relationship. You’ve come to the right place!

Don’t wait any longer…

I can help. All you have to do is reach out. Call today to book your free consultation: (805) 430-4277.